First Page Critique

Jamie Ayers  is hosting a First Page Critique contest where you post your first page on your blog and then hop around to the other entrants and read and comment on their first page. Five people will receive a critique from author Heather Burch who has a debut book called Halflings. You can read Heather's interview and more information about the contest on Jamie's blog here.  Today is the last to email Jamie and post your first page for critiquing.

*** New Note: Apparently I was too late for this contest, LOL! It ended today. I thought today was the last day to enter. Well, we'll let this post be a plug for Heather and I'll have to be more on top of things next time! :D 

Here is my first page of WESTRIDGE, a YA light fantasy:

Warmth spread over me, deadening my muscles and mind. I held onto the feeling, knowing it wouldn’t last long. The air around me was a gigantic cushion, tingling and caressing my skin as though it were lifting me from the couch. I felt languid, free, good.

“Nice, isn’t it?” Zach murmured next to me.

I snuggled closer, careful not to move too much so it didn’t ruin the effect of the drug. I closed my eyes and let the sensation carry me away… away from school, stress, and Lady Edna’s dirty basement.

I didn’t know why I’d fought against Zach for so long. This was wonderful, this feeling of utter freedom, this numb, warm place. Maybe Zach and I would take that next step tonight. After all, he had been patient. I opened my mouth to say so, but stopped, waiting; words would spoil this moment.

The coziness continued to stretch beneath my skin, wrap around my toes. I felt equal to everyone else on the planet. Nothing mattered. My lack of parents, money—and as cliché as it was—love. Even Jason, being the over protective older brother, couldn’t bring me down.

We’re all the family we need, you and I.

Crap.

The thought of Jason’s words dampened the high. I shoved him from my mind, trying to focus on the moment, although it was hard knowing he was upstairs probably doing his homework being the perfect person that he was. He would kill me if he knew what I was doing down here with his best friend.

Double crap.

There went another bit of the high. I sighed and rolled away from Zach, placing my hands on top of my thighs. My legs barely registered the contact, just the slight impression of heat. I felt disconnected from my body, like my hands were a million miles away from my head. I rubbed the fabric of my jeans, slowly, because it was hard to move.

Just as I began to give into the feeling again, a crash sounded from upstairs. I jerked upright. My head spun. 

***

Thanks Jamie for hosting this! Also, I wanted to thank Hope Roberson for giving me the "Happy Valentine's Kiss" Award from the Is It Getting Hot In Here Valentine's Day Blog Hop! *is honored* I hope all you fantastic writers are being productive and making good headway on all your projects!

Red. Head. Out. :D